After the heart pounding and blissful joy of a new relationship has waned, take these steps to keep the fire burning:
1. Create an amazing moment, unexpectedly. Do something thoughtful and out of the ordinary and try to incorporate an element of surprise to it: a loving note tucked into a pocket or purse describing what sexy thing you’re going to do to them tonight, meet for a last minute lunch during the week and go “commando,” send a revealing playful selfie in the middle of the day. Thoughtful surprises will put a smile on your partner’s face and bring you closer together.
2. Communicate honestly about your sex life. Learn what pleases your partner sexually. Make it clear that their pleasure is your pleasure. Teach your partner what you like. Be considerate in your discussion, remember, you’re more than lovers, you’re also best friends; communicating on a friendship level means always choosing your words and actions with respect and care and always approaching one another in an open and honest way.
3. Boost lasting love with sexual novelty. When things get predictable and routine, there is not going to be as much of a hormonal, neurotransmitter reaction; and arousal is lessened. While you don't have to break out the whips and chains, a little novelty can increase anticipation, which means that more hormones are secreted. Try making a sexy video together. The time it takes setting up the camera and planning what you are going to do in the video is excellent foreplay. The result is hotter, more thrilling sex, bonding you closer together.
4. Intimacy is more than just sex. Touching in sexy ways outside the bedroom—a squeeze here, a massage there—is a nice little reminder that you are in life together. It’s important to remember that intimacy doesn’t just occur in the bedroom. Set aside special times to be intimate with one another, like cooking together, but ramp it up by doing it in the nude, setting aside times to give each other massages, reading to one another, really get the juices flowing and do something daring together like going to a nude beach/resort if you haven’t done that before, etc. In this hectic world, it’s all too easy to become like ‘business’ partners or roommates.
5. Get the chemicals of love flowing. There are many brain chemicals that go into the feeling of love and attachment. The hormone Oxytocin can promote bonding and trust with your partner. Oxytocin is enhanced by watching romantic movies together, holding hands, cuddling, and it skyrockets at orgasm. Women usually have more Oxytocin than men, but according to one study, a man’s level of Oxytocin goes up 500 percent after making love. Being too busy to make love pushes couples apart. Do something together that reminds you what butterflies feels like.
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